“Some toys are specifically labeled ‘for couples,’ but any toy can be for couples.” It’s better to focus on finding toys that fulfill the specific purpose you want them for, whether that be clitoral stimulation during intercourse, app-enabled pleasure for long-distance couples, intense anal sensations, or something else entirely. “Ignore all the marketing,” Epiphora warns. Sex educator Cassandra Corrado says it’s “really freeing when you realize doesn’t have to all be about human-to-human contact-you can bring in tools to help you access pleasure more easily and efficiently.” What should couples keep in mind when shopping for sex toys? This may be especially true for people who struggle to feel pleasure or achieve orgasm without toys, whether due to sensitivity issues, erectile dysfunction, a physical disability, or other conditions. Sex toys “can create unique opportunities for pleasure and bonding,” says Rae Chen, a writer who reviews sex toys at The Notice. Even if you use a fancy stand mixer while baking a cake, you’re still the one who baked that cake-and by the same token, the pleasure and fun of using a sex toy with a partner is often more about the partner than the toy. “Humans don't vibrate humans don't have penises made of stainless steel.” But that also doesn’t mean that toys are a replacement for, or a threat to, human relationships. “Sex toys do things humans cannot,” agrees Epiphora, a blogger who has been reviewing sex toys professionally for over a decade. “Sex toys allow you and your partner (or partners) to bring an exciting sensation that might not be possible with tongues, fingers, and genitals alone,” she says, adding that you can think of them as the sprinkles on top of an already delicious sundae. But sex toys aren’t just for single folks. Lisa Finn, a sex educator at sex toy mecca Babeland, tells SELF that there’s a widespread misconception that sex toys are a thing you use before you meet your partner-or when they’re out of town. It’s easy to see why: The best sex toys for couples can liven up a sex life that has come to feel monotonous, conjure more intense versions of sensations you already enjoy, and even help you feel more closely connected to your partner.
Sex toy usage has surged during the pandemic, both for solo users and for couples who enjoy using toys together.